December 17, 2025 Building Resilience in Overscheduled Children
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” - Nelson Mandela
Listen to, or read this meditation:
Here’s something that might sting a little: we’re accidentally raising kids who can handle everything except being still.
Look, I know why we do it. We pack their schedules with soccer practice, piano lessons, tutoring, art classes, and youth group because we love them. We want them to have every opportunity we didn’t have. We want them to be well-rounded, successful, and ready for whatever life throws at them.
But somewhere along the way, we confused busy with resilient. And friend, those two things are not the same.
Resilience isn’t built in the backseat of a car rushing from activity to activity. It’s not created in the constant hustle of doing more, achieving more, being more. Real resilience - the kind that helps kids weather life’s storms - grows in the quiet spaces we’ve accidentally scheduled away.
Think about it. When do kids learn to sit with disappointment? When do they figure out what they actually enjoy versus what they’re just good at? When do they develop their own internal voice instead of just responding to the next coach, teacher, or instructor telling them what to do?
The answer? In the margins. In the downtime. In the beautiful, boring moments we’ve been taught to fear.
An overscheduled child might look impressive on paper, but inside they’re running on fumes. They’re stressed, exhausted, and ironically, less prepared for real life than the kid who has time to be bored, to play, to figure things out on their own.
Resilience comes from having space to fail small before the stakes get big. It comes from having time to think, to feel, to process. It comes from learning that you can survive an afternoon with nothing to do and actually come out the other side with something creative, interesting, or just plain restful.
Your child doesn’t need to be everything. They need to be themselves. And they can’t discover who that is when every minute is mapped out for them.
Here’s the truth that will set you free: saying no to activities isn’t depriving your child. It’s giving them the gift of breathing room. It’s teaching them that their worth isn’t tied to their productivity. It’s showing them that rest isn’t laziness - it’s wisdom.
When you clear the calendar, something beautiful happens. Kids rediscover imagination. They learn to entertain themselves. They develop interests that come from within, not from what’s available at the community center. They become more creative, more independent, and yes, more resilient.
So maybe the question isn’t “What else can we add to make our kids stronger?” Maybe it’s “What can we take away to give them room to grow?”
Action Step: Pull out your family calendar right now. Count how many scheduled activities your child has each week. If it’s more than two or three, it’s time for a change. Sit down with your child and let them choose ONE activity to drop this season. Use that freed-up time for unstructured family dinners, backyard play, or just doing absolutely nothing together. Watch how that empty space fills up with connection, creativity, and the kind of resilience that actually sticks.
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