June 23, 2025 Learning Love Languages
“The object of love is not getting something you want, but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”
⁃ Gary Chapman
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Listen to, or read this meditation on audio:
You know that feeling when you're pouring your heart out trying to show love, but somehow it's just not landing? Like you're both speaking, but nobody's really hearing? Well, I've been there, and it's one of those relationship puzzles that can make you feel a little crazy.
Here's what I've learned: we all have our own special way of feeling loved, and sometimes those ways are as different as chocolate and vanilla ice cream - both wonderful, just completely different flavors.
Maybe you're like my friend Linda, who shows love by doing everything for everyone. She's up early making lunches, staying up late to help with homework, basically being a one-woman love machine. But her husband feels loved when she sits with him and really talks - no phones, no distractions, just heart-to-heart connection.
For months, Linda was exhausted from all her doing, while her husband felt lonely even though she was right there. They were both trying so hard, but missing each other completely.
The amazing breakthrough came when they finally talked about it - really talked - everything shifted. Linda learned that twenty minutes of focused conversation meant more to him than twenty tasks completed. He learned that when he helped fold laundry, it felt like a love letter to her.
Think about your own relationship for a minute. Are you giving the kind of love YOU want to receive, or the kind of love THEY need to feel it? There's a big difference, and it's not anyone's fault when we get it mixed up.
Some folks feel loved through encouraging words, others through gentle touches or surprise gifts. Some people melt when you spend uninterrupted time together, while others feel cherished when you tackle their to-do list.
Here's your gentle homework: Ask your person, "What makes you feel most loved by me?" Then really listen. Not to fix or defend, just to understand. You might be amazed at how simple their answer is.
Love isn't supposed to be this hard. Sometimes we just need to learn each other's language. And trust me, when you start speaking it, the whole relationship starts singing a sweeter song. You're both trying - now you're just going to try smarter.
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