January 9 2026 Parenting Win: Teaching Your Kids About Goal Setting (Without Making It Boring)
“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”
– Lawrence J. Peter
Listen to, or read this meditation:
Listen, I raised two daughters. Two! And if there’s one thing I learned, it’s this: kids don’t need lectures about goals. They need to see goals come alive.
The word “goal” makes most kids’ eyes glaze over. It sounds like homework. Like something adults make up to torture them. But here’s the secret—your kids are already setting goals. They just don’t call it that.
When your daughter practices that TikTok dance 47 times until she gets it right? That’s a goal. When your son begs you to let him stay up late to finish building his Lego spaceship? Goal. When they save their allowance for three weeks to buy those sneakers? You guessed it—goal setting in action.
Our job isn’t to make them care about goals. It’s to help them see they already do.
Make It Real, Not Boring
Forget the vision boards and fancy planners. Start simple. Ask your kid: “What’s something you really want to do or get?”
Maybe it’s making the basketball team. Learning to skateboard. Getting a pet hamster. Beating that video game level. It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that it’s their dream, not yours.
Once they tell you, don’t jump in with a 10-step plan. Instead, ask: “What’s one thing you could do this week to get closer to that?”
Boom. You just taught goal setting without them even knowing it.
Break Big Dreams Into Bite-Sized Pieces
Here’s what I learned on the basketball court at Loyola: you don’t win the game in the first quarter. You win it possession by possession, play by play.
Same thing with kids and goals. That huge dream of making the soccer team? Break it down. Practice dribbling for 15 minutes today. Watch one YouTube tutorial tomorrow. Ask the coach what they look for. Small steps, big results.
When kids see progress, they catch fire. And that fire? That’s what builds winners.
Celebrate the Small Wins
This is where most parents mess up. We wait for the big victory to celebrate. But your kid needs to know you see their effort right now.
Did they practice their piano scales without being asked? Make a big deal out of it. Did they save five dollars toward that goal? Celebrate it like they just won the lottery.
Why? Because kids repeat what gets noticed. And when effort gets celebrated, they learn that the journey matters just as much as the prize.
Let Them Fail (Yes, Really)
Not every goal gets reached. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s better than okay—it’s necessary.
When my kids missed their mark, I didn’t swoop in to fix it. I sat with them and asked: “What did you learn? What would you do differently next time?”
That’s gold, friend. That’s how dreams become character.
Goal setting isn’t about perfection. It’s about teaching your kids that they have power—power to dream, to try, to adjust, and to keep moving forward.
And honestly? That’s a lesson that’ll serve them long after they’ve moved out of your house.
Your Action Step:
Tonight at dinner, ask each kid: “What’s one thing you want to accomplish this week?” Write it down. Check in three days later. Don’t lecture—just ask how it’s going and if they need help. Watch what happens when your kids realize you’re on their team, not their back.
© 2026 Detroit Flanagan
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